What if Shinji was a badass ( or pretended to be )

Zaiku · Postby **Zaiku** » Tue Sep 30, 2008 8:58 am

Nah, he's too shy to sell it. But if he did have powers like that, in the hospital, he would say to Asuka in something like his father's voice, "you shall partake of my acid semen!" and then it would dribble down her face leaving burn marks which Shinji could then use to... Have disgusting and absolutely kinky fetish sex.

I finished your post. :thumbsup:

pat457 · Postby **pat457** » Wed Oct 01, 2008 6:51 am

No nested quotes.

(Gollum voice) No!! No! Take it off us...it burns! it burns us!!!

Vegeta 20XX · Postby **Vegeta 20XX** » Tue Oct 14, 2008 2:03 am

Hell, Evangelion wouldn't last even one episode...Shinji's badassery would cause the Angels to divide by zero and implode in fear, and the Universe would undo itself because if the impossibility of Shinji being teh awesome.

The Bastard King wrote:You know, Rei has vagina hands. Just sayin'.

wut

Postby **Mr. Tines** » Tue Oct 14, 2008 2:08 am

Vegeta 20XX wrote:wut

http://www.evageeks.org/forum/viewtopic.php?p=11037#11037

Zaiku · Postby **Zaiku** » Tue Oct 14, 2008 3:45 am

Mr. Tines wrote:http://www.evageeks.org/forum/viewtopic.php?p=11037#11037

Umm... LOL? (I think)

Vegeta 20XX · Postby **Vegeta 20XX** » Tue Oct 14, 2008 3:56 am

I'm scarred. Excuse me while I crawl under my bed trying to understand what a sick fuck Anno is.

Zaiku · Postby **Zaiku** » Tue Oct 14, 2008 4:02 am

Vegeta 20XX wrote:I'm scarred. Excuse me while I crawl under my bed trying to understand what a sick fuck Anno is.

Hahaha... good luck with that.

Vegeta 20XX · Postby **Vegeta 20XX** » Tue Oct 14, 2008 4:41 am

As of now, the expression Pocket Shin Gouki has in my avatar matches mine perfectly. How many vaginas can Anno fit into one movie (porno doesn't count)? It's scary.

Zaiku · Postby **Zaiku** » Tue Oct 14, 2008 5:24 am

^And not one of them could be in a scene that wasn't even a little disturbing. Anyway, I digress. We must return to the subject of Shinji's badassery. I wouldn't say that he is badass, but he is a little less of a snivelling wimp in the spin off mangas.

pat457 · Postby **pat457** » Tue Oct 14, 2008 8:29 am

Vegeta 20XX wrote:Hell, Evangelion wouldn't last even one episode...Shinji's badassery would cause the Angels to divide by zero and implode in fear, and the Universe would undo itself because if the impossibility of Shinji being teh awesome.

EPISODE 00: ANGEL ATTACK (sort of)

Sachiel: (Makes Angel noises while being attacked by the UN)
Shinji:

Sachiel: (sees Shinji, rips his own rib off and commits seppuku by smashing his core, causing him to explode. Suddenly, a lot of other cross-shaped explosions to appear in various places around the world)

(Camera then finally pans from Shinji looking up at the sky to a shot of the Earth as seen from space. All is calm and well...until an explosion occurs. Black Text on White Screen abruptly appears) 終劇 (THE END)

Postby **Sailor Star Dust** » Tue Oct 14, 2008 11:48 am

If the Angels all suddenly died like that, I bet there would somehow be a bad end. Nice point on why Shinji being a badass is just wrong.

The Bastard King · Postby **The Bastard King** » Tue Oct 14, 2008 2:18 pm

If Shinji were badass, he would have leapt out of Unit-01 and eaten Zeruel's S2 organ himself. He also would have had Misato pregnant before stepping into her apartment for the first time, used the volcano as a hotspring, and would have required a squash to be conveniently placed on the table instead of a bottle of toothpicks.

Postby **Sailor Star Dust** » Tue Oct 14, 2008 2:31 pm

^
The whole post above me just plain wins. YES. :asuka_thumbsup:

Zaiku · Postby **Zaiku** » Tue Oct 14, 2008 3:15 pm

The Bastard King wrote:If Shinji were badass, he would have leapt out of Unit-01 and eaten Zeruel's S2 organ himself. He also would have had Misato pregnant before stepping into her apartment for the first time, used the volcano as a hotspring, and would have required a squash to be conveniently placed on the table instead of a bottle of toothpicks.

Bloody Brilliant.
There is not much else I can say.

pat457 · Postby **pat457** » Wed Oct 15, 2008 5:33 am

The Bastard King:
That reminds me of a teeny little post...

pat457 wrote:"Shinji's eating the Angel...again!"
"And, as usual, he's taking the S2 Engine into himself!"
"I guess this renders Shinji-kun immortal, then?"
"I think so. Just like I've said before, it's impossible for us to stop Shinji-kun any more."

I guess great(?) minds think alike. ^_^

By the way, as for your latter suggestions:

(Shinji bursts in naked, with a huge, yet still apparently insufficient bag of squashes covering his genitals, startled at PenPen)

Misato: His name is PenPen. He's another roommate. Uh, by the way...(looks at Shinji and blushes)...D'you...want to sleep in my room this evening?
Shinji: (gets it) ...Anything for you, baby.
(Nine months later)
Fuyutsuki: (looks around)...That's strange...One by one, all the female personnel in NERV called up saying they're taking maternity leave starting today. Wait...'maternity leave'!?
So that's why their stomachs got bigger and bigger! 'Doh!

SSD, it would seem that this thread has finally taught us a lesson.

Sharaz Destler · Postby **Sharaz Destler** » Wed Oct 15, 2008 9:02 am

The Bastard King wrote:and would have required a squash to be conveniently placed on the table instead of a bottle of toothpicks.

A can of Monster energy drink, more like...which he would have proceeded to knock off the table.

Postby **ZapX** » Wed Oct 15, 2008 12:00 pm

If Shinji were a badass...

Postby **Sailor Star Dust** » Wed Oct 15, 2008 12:14 pm

ZapX: That was hilarious. Creepy yet hilarious. :shinji_eyebrow:

pat457: Genius! And btw, did you make that poster on your own? Very funny!

Bad Ass Shinji MUST be stopped! I nominate Asuka to kick his ass and return him to the disturbed, quiet, fuck-up we know and love.

IrkenEvangelion · Postby **IrkenEvangelion** » Wed Oct 15, 2008 12:31 pm

LOL! That's hilarious.

Zaiku · Postby **Zaiku** » Wed Oct 15, 2008 3:02 pm

ZapX wins teh interwebz, for making one of the greatest posts ever.

What if Shinji was a badass ( or pretended to be )

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