Evageeks Halloween special: Alternate version

[Defectron]

Authors notes: Well since my movies rendering and I don't have anything else to do, I might as well do this. Since someone already called Dibs on the haloween special, I'll be writing the Alternate version, which depending on how lazy the other person is may end up being the only version. 二形 二人

And now let the games begin!

The story:

Evageeks Halloween special: The Alternate version

Thunder cracked in the sky as the rain battered a decrepid looking barnhouse. The room was breifly illuminated from the darkness as lightning flashed through the stormy skies. Sitting alone in the dark was a mysterious man wearing a tinfoil hat. Clucthed in his hand was finely crafted chinese puzzel box resembling stellers Stella Octangula. He looked ragged and haggard like he had been wrestling with this puzzel for days without rest. Was this the curse that haunted those who knew Eva?

All those days of reasearch spent toiling over Montauk conspiracies, Merkabah entities and pictures of Rei Ayanami finnally paid off as he turned another piece of geometry hearing a strange clicking noise. The various sides of the Stella Octangula began to shift and move as it changed formation. He'd done it! He'd solved the puzzel.

"Wan! Wan!" he heard a noise coming from the pitch dark shadows that sounded likea small puppy barking. This puzzel was supposed to open the gateway to the realm of Bohlzmans brains, why was a puppy here?

"Wan! Wan! Wan! Wan! Wan! Wan!" multiple puppies could be heard barking in the darkness. What was going on here?

"Buck Bakaw!" he looked to the other side of the room noticing a mysterious chicken wearing a black gimp mask. He could also here a faint clicking noise coming from inside his closet. Suttling across the floor were several creatures resembling large pillbugs. No they weren't pill bugs, they were Rhexanella verrucosa, the infamous parasites that went inside the mouths of fishes replacing their toungs. Slowly he got up, a sense of forboding washing over him. But before he could run or hide something shot out of the darkness, it was a single puppy with jet black fur. It's tiny cute mouth bit into his arm, its small puppy fangs digging into his flesh. "GRRRRR!" it growled before he felt himself get yanked backwards with greater force then any mortal puppy could possibly muster.

"NOOOOOO! At least let me keep my tin foil hat!" he screamed as the cute yet monstrous creature dragged him into the darkness. His hat falling off behind him.

Several weeks later

The Imperialist sat atop his thrown of cardboard boxes drumming his fingers impatiently. Finnally the man he was waiting for opened the door. It was none other then the decepticon Starscream.

"You've failed me again Starscream." he stated before he could even give his report.

"But I didn't say anything yet..."

"Oh, sorry, It's just a habit...go on then old chap, tell me what you know."

"According to Weaboo intelligence, the Stella Octaganula should be in the posession of a group of Goths who are having a goth party in the discussion forest."

Not bothering to question the accuracy of Weaboo intelligence the Imperialist got up with an overjoyed look on his face. Yes, he was only a stones throw away from world domination now! "HAHAHA! how delicious, the fools have no idea of the power they have discovered! Come my incompetant lackey! Let us relieve them of their prized posession in the name of the Imperial order of Evangelion! Imperialist Vi Britannia commands it!" he said making a dramatic gesture with his hand.

"Mommy why is that man talking to that action figure?" a little girl asked as she spotted Imperialist laughing insanely, apparantly talking to an action figure of Star Scream.

"Don't look at him dear." her mother took her hand and walked away from the strange scary man and his decepticon action figure.


Somewhere else

"So uhh...why are we having Goth fest in the discussion forest?" asked a kid with long black hair covering his face.

"Because there's fog and stuff here. Look how spooky it is, goths are all about being spooky!" answered another Goth.


"But those trees....they keep on disscussing things that don't make any sense. What the hell is a transition guide? And who the hell is fem koworu?"

"Uhhh...maybe we should just play with this thing instead." the other goth said pulling out the Stella Octaganulla.

But before they could fool around with the cursed puzzel they could hear someone laughing in the trees. "HAHAHAHAHA! Quivering Shadows in the darkness! You who hold secret picnics in this forest without throwing away your litter, Even if god forgives your transgressions, Anti Goth never will!"

"Oh shit! It's that nut again!" one of the Goths got up looking terrified. They wouldn't need to hold their goth picnics in secret in this spooky forest if that crazy Antigoth girl hadn't kept on attacking them for who knew what reason!

Swinging from the trees a caped girl wearing a plastic koworu mask descended on them. The metallic heels of her boots came down on one unlucky Goth knocking him from his feet as she landed on his back causing him to squeel in pain.

"I'll handle this..." a large goth appearing to be their leader said as he got up pulling a large red glowing light saber from inside his pants.

"I am the king of the goths! In the name of Lestat, cathedrals, graveyards and all things goth, I shall defeat you! RAAAAAAAHHH!" he charged her swinging his light saber. However Antigoth was prepared for this, she leapt through the air with the gracefulness of a string fu master sailing over his light saber. As she flipped over his head, she struck several key points on his face before landing.

"You bitch, I'll kill...."

"Your already DEAD!" she stated as she got up. Before the King of the goths could finish turning around his head exploded showering her with candy and chocolate.

The other goths were so terrified they ran away in fear that they too would have the insides of their candy coated heads exposed to daylight!

As soon as they were gone, Antigoth shouted " CAAAAANDYYY I love it! Can't get enough!" she began shoveling the candy into a halloween trick or treat bag. Though she may say otherwise, but the real reason she hunted goths was because she knew that the insides of their heads were coated with chocolate and candy. So different then Emos who only had heads full of fruitcake or punks who had heads full of panini bread. The King of the goths even had a caremal apple inside his. She would expect nothing less of their King! But wait what was this on the ground? She spotted a mysterious geometric object sitting atop one of their picknic blankets.

She picked up the Stella Octaganulla biting it, this certainly was not candy! She was about to throw it away but then stopped. It might not be candy, but maybe there was some candy inside it! She'd have to get Birdy and SSD to help her open this later.

As she walked away Imperialist arrived on the scene pretending to make Starscream fly through the air with swishing noises.

"Sir were too late! Somebody beat us too it!" he said in a Starscream voice.

"You've failed me again Starscream! But not all is lost! Let us mobilize the men and storm the enemies castle! We cannot allow the Stella Octaganulla fall into enemy hands!"

To be continued---

[Sailor Star Dust]

Nice start so far. It needs MOAR insanity. I'll be interested in see how you portray everybody's personalities with this.

[Defectron]

It needs MOAR insanity

Oh there will be...

[Defectron]

part 2

Antigoth arrived back at her apartment with bags of candy and the mysterious Stella Octangula puzzle cube she had found at the Goth picnic.

"I'm back, and I have candy!" Living with her were her two room mates Sailor Star Dust and Birdy the Moon Goddess. Sailor Star Dust resembled what Asuka would look like if she were a sailor scout, even wearing a red sailor moon style Sailor Fuku. Birdy however was dressed in black, with black died hair and a lot of make up. She insisted that she was simply Emo citing places on her fingers where she'd gotten paper cuts as evidence. But this never stopped Antigoth from snooping around her trying to figure out if she was secretly a goth in disguise.

Birdy timidly came out to go get some candy only to have Antigoth give her the usual suspicious look. "Birdy...your looking awfully gothic today..."

"Wha-What, no way, I'm just emo as usual, no goth here hehehe..." she laughed nervously as she took a handful of candy. It probably would be a lot safer if she didn't live with someone who ate the candy filled brains of goths, but she couldn't help it, she was addicted to candy. Also she thought both SSD and Antigoth were really sexy which didn't make it any easier to move out.

"All right Birdy, I don't eat the brains of emos, but you'd better not be lying to me!" Antigoth said looking suspicious

"W-What of course not!" Birdy said nervously holding up her hands placatingly.

" I saw Birdy listening to Lincoln Park today, she's definitely Emo, not at all goth!" SSD added on, this was actually a complete lie to keep Antigoth from trying to eat Birdies brains.

"Ok, I guess I have no choice but to trust you..." Antigoth said giving the two girls a suspicious look before bringing out the puzzle. "I almost forgot, I also found this. It was at the goth picnic, but it really doesn't look like something goths play with. But since your not a goth I suppose you wouldn't know what this is Birdy." Birdy was about to say that it looked like Keplers Stella Octangula but quickly stopped herself.

"No idea..." both girls said looking at it.

"Hmmm...actually I think this might be some sort of puzzle box." SSD picked it up and began twisting it around a bit. Sure enough that's what it appeared to be. As she twisted it, the strange object emitted an electrical spark. "Ouch..." chucking it behind the couch she rubbed her hand.

Before they could go and inspect the box they could hear someone banging on the door. Going over to open it Antigoth found a clean cut asian man dressed like a European noble standing on the other side.

"Good evening M-lady! I hate to intrude , but I am afraid to inform you, that you have something belonging to me! This puzzle box is in your possession!" he said holding up a badly drawn crayon picture of the puzzel box.

"So it belongs to you?" Antigoth said suspicious, this man looked nothing like a goth.

"Indeed, now give it over this instant! Imperialist Vi Brittania commands it!" as he said this he removed a contact on his right eye in an extremely dramatic hand motion.

"Uhh...." Antigoth said looking at him a bit weirded out.

"It's not working! Why isn't she getting the puzzle box! Star Scream! Why isn't my Geass working? What do you mean that I forgot to change the batteries! You've failed me again Star Scream!" Antigoth shut the door on the strange man talking to his Star Scream action figure. Imperialist stood there for a moment staring at the door. "Oh? You think a mere barrier of wood and nails can stop the Imperial order of Evangelion? Foolish woman, you know not who you trifle with!" he chucked the action figure at the door only to have it fall to the ground harmlessly.

"You've failed me ag....what do you mean that the door is coated with an anti energon barrier!?! Enough of your excuses StarScream! It's clear that your services are inadiquit for the task at hand! I shall hire mercenaries to extracate our most prized of possessions from these lowly peasants!" Imperialist said pompously as he walked away.

Much later


SSD had gone out to meet with the mighty magical girls guild or MMGG for short. Birdy was sleeping in her room that had about ten padlocks on the door in case Antigoth ever tried to sneak in to see what was inside her head. Antigoth was now left alone on her couch watching the movie "Tomminator 2: Judgement Day". Tomminator was a movie similar to Terminator, but instead of a killer cyborg it was about a guy named Tom in the future whose online name was "The Tomminator" his mission was to go back in time and Tomminate John Conner. She wasn't even sure what that meant. What happened when you were Tomminated? Did you die or something? Or did you just get your name changed to Tom? She really wasn't sure. All she knew was that being Tomminated probably wasn't a good thing.

As Antigoth dozed to sleep something strange began to happen. Behind the couch, a brown substance that looked like it was probably chocolate began to ooze from the puzzle box. The chocolate slowly oozed across the floor until it collected in a large gooey puddle. Then without warning two arms composed entirely of chocolate shot up from the brown gooey depths pressing against the floor. They werent completely formed, it was more like a chocolate skeleton with some partially formed chocolate muscles loosely wrapped around the bones. Pulsing with new life the chocolate muscles strained as something bean to emerge. It was a human skeliton made entirely of rich gooey chocolate. slowly forcing its way up from inside the brown sweet depths of chocolate hell!
More chocolate continued to flow from the puzzle box as more organs and muscles formed, all made of ritch dark chocolate. But there wasn't enough, he couldn't fully regenerate. He needed CANDY! That was the only way he could ever rejoin the world of the living for good! Slowly crawling across the floor, the chocolate abomination slowly slipped and slid towards the couch.

In her sleep Antigoth could feel something warm and gooey touch her hand. "Hey....wake up..." A raspy voice growled out.

"Mmm...Don't stop..." what the hell was she dreaming about?

Not wanting to wait any longer the chocolate monstrositie grabbed her nose.

"Guuh...my nose! What is this?" she quickly shot awake as she saw the partially formed chocolate zombie beside the couch letting out a scream only to have her mouth covered by a gooey chocolate hand. That actually tasted kind of good, but it was still terrifying.

"Calm down! I'm not here to hurt you! I'm going to take my hand off your mouth, do you promise not to scream?"

Antigoth nodded. The abomination removed his hand.

"Your here to Tomminate me aren't you?" She said terrified.

"Wait what?" the strange zombie looked so confused by this statement that one of his chocolate eyeballs fell out.

"You came back from the future to Tomminate me! Isn't that right Tom?"

"No! No! No! My name is not Tom! You don't recognize me right now because I'm a chocolate coated nightmare, but you know me! It's me Zuggy, I made fun of you in my funny eva comic!"

"Oh...yes I loved that....wow you really lost a lot of weight...When did you get all brown and gooey?"

"I didn't lose weight! I'm made of chocolate! That's what happens when you get taken.... by them...." he said cryptically.

"You must've been Tomminated...."

"No! No one named Tom is involved in anything that has to do with this story! Tom does not exist! There is no such thing as a person place or thing named Tom! The only place where Tom is real is in that stupid movie!" Zuggy said extremely irritated.

"Are you sure? Because I knew a guy named Tom and..."

HIS NAME WAS FRANK! TOM IS NOT REAL! THE SPOON IS TOM!" Zuggy shouted splattering her face with chocolate. "Now, as I was saying, this is what happens to you when you get taken....by them....Yes, that Stella Octangula puzzlebox, I believed it was the key to opening the realm of Bohlzmans brains, where I could learn the meaning of existence. But it wasn't it opened a gate to their realm!" as he said this Antigoth saw several images flash through her mind. A figure in a dark hooded shroud with puppies for fingers, an otherwise normal chicken wearing a S&M gimp mask, A giant floating fish with a hideous parasitic crustacian for a toung and lastly something resembling a midget real doll. "They took me, and made me experience the 500 circles of chocolate hell. In the first circle you must live your life as a chocolate cake, destined to be eaten by demonic five year olds. In the next circle you must live your life as a chocolate creape, destined to be eaten by even more demonic five year olds. And after that..."

Awhile later

"So you see, the only way to get back my body which they took is to eat candy. But I need to do it quickly, its only a matter of time before... they... catch up to me!" Zuggy said in the same cryptic voice.

"I have some candy, its goth candy."

"Good, brain candy is the best type for this sort of thing." Antigoth took out her candy bag and shook it. Only one fun sized snickers fell out landing pitifully on the ground. "NOOOOO! You ate it all! Whats fun sized about a small candy bar? Smearing it on your neighbors door? That's the only thing this is good for!" Zuggy shouted in frustration.

"I'm sorry Zuggy, but when we get candy around here we just lose all control..." Antigoth apologized.

"No...That's all right, there is another, my chocolate senses are tingling, someone else in this house has a head full of the sweetest of candys..."

"But were the only ones here, the only other person here right now is Birdy, but she can't have candy in her head. She's emo, all she has in there is fruit cake."

"No...She lied to you to save her brains from being eaten! Antigoth...as incomplete as I am... I'm too weak...but you....you have streingth enough for both of us. I can sense the hatred flowing through you my young apprentice. Give me her candy filled head, and you shall be the star of the funniest eva comic the world has ever known!" he made a dramatic motion with his chocolate hand that was missing two fingers as lighting and thunder crashed outside.

"R-Really....your going to properly make fun of me this time?" Antigoth said , her eyes twinkling in anticipation.

"Of course my dear..." Zuggy said smiling as deviously as he could with his half melted incomplete chocolate face.


Meanwhile


Imperialist stood before three figures, a fat man who rode atop a gigantic writihing maggot on a dog leash. A small leprachan with a cape and psychotic grin, and a man who resembled an imperial admiral from Star Wars.

"If you three can get me the Stella Octangula, I will reward you all handsomely!"

"How handsomely?" the leprachan asked.

"Do you see this badly drawn treasure chest full of gold? All of this can be yours if you get me that puzzelebox!"

"Woooooooow......" all three of them said in awe.

"Lets get that puzzle box! Were gonna be rich!" the leprachaun shouted as he ran off followed by the maggot rider and the star wars nut.

After they left Imperialist turned to Starscream once more "What do you mean we can't afford to pay them? What do you mean they probably don't take Crayon money? We'll just do the same thing we do whenever we eat at restaurants, run away without paying! But do not worry, once I rule the world, I shall settle all IOU's. What do you mean you don't think anyones going to buy that?" Imperialist threw the action figure on the ground annoyed at its impudence.

[The Bastard King]

Who'd want a Starscream? Hotrod is clearly the best transformer sidekick.

[Sailor Star Dust]

My brain actually hurts. O_< Still, I loled.

[Defectron]

Hotrod is clearly the best transformer sidekick.

Yes but he's not a decepticon, Starscream is your evil side kick, and Imperialist is all about EVIL! That's why Starscreams his side kick.

[The Bastard King]

Right, well I'd rather have a slick 80's racing car action figure on my side any day rather then a jet that speaks out of it's naval cavity. Just sayin'.

On a side note, I like the level of intelligence that is surprisingly going into this.

[UrsusArctos]

"Imperialist vi Britannia commands it!"

That sentence cracked me up more than anything else.

Kepler's Stella Octangula? Dear, dear. I should have brought that in somewhere before the Rei-tachi lifted Zugzwang to heaven.

On the whole, hilarious, and a real breath of fresh...ah...insanity?

[Defectron]

Part 3:

No matter how much Birdy padlocked her room to keep out intruders, she always had one fatal weakness. Like everyone else who tried to sleep in peace, on occasion she would need to get up to take a bathroom break. Especially when she could hear dripping water. She didn't like getting upt o go when SSD wasn't here, but that dripping water was becoming unbearable. Why was there dripping water here anyway? SSD was supposed to have plugged up all the leaks with her magic!

Outside the door

Zuggy and Antigoth giggled as they turned on another fawcett ever so slightly so that water slowly dripped out. After about an hour of waiting their patience finally paid off as Birdy slowly opened the door looking around. It didn't look like anyone was out here. But wait, what was that on the ground? It was something shiny! She loved shiny things!

She was so entranced by the mysterious shiny object that she didn't even notice that it was place inside a poorly disguised rope trap! As she grabbed the shiny piece of aluminum foil the trap was triggered sending her flying up into the air. "WAAAAAAAAAAAAHHH!!!"

"Birdy! Your actions are much too predictable!" Antigoth said walking out the all concealing shadows.

"Antigoth! Let me down! What are you doing!?"

"You lied to me Birdy! I know that your actually a goth!"

"N-No I'm not, I'm just Emo! I have some depressing poetry in my room to prove it!"

"But goths also write depressing poems sometimes. You may have been able to fool me, but you cannot fool him!" Antigoth pointed into the shadows where the shambling chocolate nightmare shuffled into view.

"Quick...I must have....CAAAANNNNDYYYYY!!!" Zuggy uttered out.

Birdy didn't know what to make of the chocolate monstrosity and screamed. "Antigoth! I thought we were freinds? It doesn't matter if I'm a goth! We can still have lesbian fun together right?"

"Birdy...the truth is I truly..." She seemed to say something else but mumbled so badly that Birdy couldnt understand it.

"Wait, what did you say?" was all Birdy got out before Antigoth pulled a large wooden mallot out from behind her back beaning her right on the head. Moments later like a slot machine thousands of M&M's began tumbling from her mouth. Leaping onto the candy like a rabid dog Zuggy began to devour it.

"I will miss that lesbian sex though..." Antigoth said with just a bit of regret. But it would all be worth it to have a proper eva comic done about her.

As Zuggy finished the last of the M&M's he slowly stood up, more chocolate flesh began forming over his chocolate bones. His lost chocolate eyeball and fingers grew back. He was almost whole now, all he needed was some chocolate skin now.

"Good, just one or two more Goths and I should be set...Now then..." he was about to go pick up the Stella Octangula when suddenly something big impacted against the side of the apartment with enough force to knock them both off their feet.

"What the hell was that? It couldn't be...them..." Zuggy said forbodeingly, but no that couldnt be right. "They" always came silently in the shadows. Whatever had made that crash had about as much subtlety as an exploding bomb. It soon became clear what exactly it was that had caused the disturbance as the front of the apartment was ripped clean away by a gigantic writhing maggot! A fat dirty looking man riding atop its head leapt through the opening followed by a man resembling Admiral Piet and a Leprachaun.

"This is it! We got it!" the Leprachaun shouted as he ran over to pick up the puzzel box.

"Stop! Don't touch that! You have no idea what you could unleash!" Zuggy shouted as he ran foreward only to have the Leprachaun sock him square in his chocolate nuts causing him to fall over in pain.

"Who are you people? What are you doing here?" Antigoth asked as she got up preparing for a fight.

"She wants to know who we are?" the big fat dirty man said giggling. "I am Maggotmaster, The Troll of Filth, I live under the sly Sludge waste disposal factory."

"And I am Citizen Geek the Troll of short things. I live under the lego bridge in the local mini mart!" The leprachaun said smiling much too arrogantly for a midget.

"And I am Executor, the troll of star wars, for the past nine years I have lived under George Lucas's house telepthically feeding him my brilliant ideas!"

Maggotmaster and CitizenGeek then whipped out a boom box and microphone. Techno music began playing as the huge maggot bobed its head to the beat. They began to sing

"WE ARE THE TROLL RACE!" All three sang

"Don't look at my nose! Don't look at my face!" Citizengeek sang solo on his mike

"WE ARE THE TROLL RACE!"

"Don't look at my nose! Don't look at my fa-" Slap! Slap! Slap! Antigoth slapped all three of their faces three stooges style and then got them all once more with the back side of her hand on the rebound.


"Who the hell do you twerps think you are wrecking up my apartment and singing about Trolls with bling and boom boxes! Give me back my puzzle or you will face the wrath of Antigoth!"

"Sh-She hit me!" Executor said looking like he was about to cry.

"She's too strong! We've got to get out of here!" CitizenGeek shouted panicking.

"Leave it to me! I'll use my ultimate Ninpo!" Maggot Master bent over and pulled his pants down before letting loose with a tremendous fart of greenish gas that was so potent it knocked Antigoth out cold. Zuggy was only spared the same fate because his nose was made of chocolate and couldn't smell.

"Woohoo! That was fun! Lets go to a library and make loud noises now!" was all she could hear one of the trolls shout as she fell into unconciousness.


Meanwhile


Imperialist needed to get new batteries for his Geass, and there was only one person who could give him the right type.

Recently Corporal Chaos had discovered the ultimate scam to get rich quick. He had discovered it completely by accident after getting extremely drunk at an anime convention he woke up dressed like C.C the green haired immortal girl from Code Geass. He had no idea how this happened, but apparantly the disguise was so perfect , everyone actually believed he really was the real C.C. Maybe it was because they had the same initials.

He wasted no time in taking advantage of this as he charged insane amounts of money to people selling them fake Geass's. One person dressed like a European noble had been exceptionally gullible handing over his entire fortune in exchange for the power of the Geass.

"I don't think anyone is going to be buying today. Why don't we go home." Pshychotic Mustached Little foot, his business partner commented. "Why don't you take off that costume already? It kinda weirds me out."

"No, we still might get some business yet today." Although Corporal Chaos wouldn't admit it, for some reason he was oddly comfortable in this costume. He had no idea why a straight jacket came with matching white high heel shoes though. Were the Brittanians that metrosexual that they even gave high heels to their prisoners?

Before he could think anymore on the matter however he spotted a familiar face. It was Imperialist. If he asked for his money back, he'd just have Little Foot blast him with his godzilla ray. "Uhoh, it's him! Little Foot you know what to do if he gives us trouble."

The dinosaur nodded as he got ready to roast the man if he tried anything.

"C.C! I need your help! The batteries in my Geass ran out! I need new batteries!" Wait he still hadn't figured out it was a scam?

"Uhhh...Alright I have some batteries, but I can't give them to you for free." Corporal Chaos said hoping to milk this.

"Oh your in luck, I recently received this bonus from the East India company today!" Imperialist said taking out the badly drawn crayon picture of the treasure chest. "Quiet Starscream, they don't need to know that I was going to use this to pay the merceneries!"

"Uhhh...I'm sorry, but we don't take crayon money here." Corporal Chaos said looking a little irritated.

"Oh, I understand. Very well then I shall be back when I obtain the proper funds for this endeavor. If you are a witch, then for you I shall become a warlock!" Imperialist took the Corporals hand like a gentleman taking the hand of a high society lady.

"R-Really that's all right! You don't need to do that." The Corporal cringed in revulsion, but if he acted out of character his scam would fail, he couldn't break his mask of lies!

"Oh but I shall! Until next time my charming beautiful lady! MUUUMMMPPHHHmalalamammmpphh!" Imperialist kissed the Corporal on the hand slobbering all over it before leaving.

"Oh god...Littlefoot, get me some soap quick! I don't want to get Herpies from him! I'm going to be sick!" The Corporal said as he tried deperately to shake the cootie filled drool from his hand.


Meanwhile


SSD arrived back at her wrecked apartment, she'd had so much time summoning exploding hearts, bubbles stars and other things at MMGG that she didnt even notice the state it was in until her door fell off its hinges boking her head. "OW! Wh...Wh...what the hell happened to my apartment?" she shouted before running inside. All of her Asuka figures had been smashed to bits! A large chunk of ceiling had smashed the computer that all of her WAFF fics were stored on. "NOOOOOOOOOO! Who could have done this!"

"It...It...Was....Trolls..." Antigoth crawled into the room looking a bit messed up. "They got Birdy....they ate her fruitcake brain..." Antigoth said lying through her teeth.

Zuggy sat silently watching in the shadows. Yes, they may have gotten the puzzlebox, but with SSD's help it wouldn't be a problem retrieving it. Everything was going according to plan.

[TheAyanamiOtaku]

needs moar admins?

[Defectron]

their going to come in later, especially Eva Monkey

[THE Hal E. Burton 9000]

yeah, I could see EM as some hermit/Obi Wan type

(wonder how he'll take THIS post, he he)

[Defectron]

Part 4

"PPPPPPPPPHHHHHHH" Maggotmaster giggled at the irritated looks all the librarians were giving him as he made another fart noise. None of them dared to come close enough to tell him to stop because of the smell.

"Star Trek novels! Most inferior! Lets rip the pages from these and replace them with pictures of my star wars action figures." Executor said as he ripped a page from a star trek novel.

"Sirs, I'm afraid I'm going to have to ask you to le--ARHGGGHHH!" CitizenGeek had just gone up to the security guard kicking him in the shin.

"Rip off artist!" he shouted before kicking him again in the other shin. Maggotmaster delivered the finishing blow as he farted in the poor mans face knocking him out cold.

"Hah! That was fun, we should come to the library more often. No wait, next time lets go to the internet cafe, we can put bald guy porn stickers on the bottoms of all the mice!"

"MM you have the best ideas ever!" CitizenGeek said in approval. But then he glanced at the Stella Octangula for a moment. "But why do you think that guy wanted this? Hmmm...maybe if I twist it around like this."

"Hey don't break it, we won't get paid!" as Citizengeek twisted it around once more the lights in the library began to flicker before going out.

"Aw man! It's all dark here! lets go somewhere that isn't all dark, I can hardly see if what I'm holding is actually a star trek novel."

"Yeah lets go." as the three left the librarian Seele08 breathed a sigh of relief. But she stopped as she heard what sounded like the clicking of the pincers of a thousand crustacians. Looking on the floor she spotted hundreds of writhing objects moving towards her. They were Rhexanella verrucosa parasites! She began to back away in fear, but behind her about a dozen cute little puppies blocked her way.

"Wan! Wan!"

"No! What's going on? What is all this?" Seele08 backed away in fear

"What indeed!" she heard a deep forboding voice say. Coming out of the darkness was a shrouded figure , on its visible right hand were five growling puppy heads where its fingers should be.

"Where is he? The one who escaped from us?" the dark figures deep voice boomed.

"He is not here!" a raspy female voice answered, she turned to see what appeared to be a really creepy loli realdoll talking.

"Buck Buckaw!" an otherwise normal looking chicken with a gimp mask said near her feet as it scratched and pecked at the floor.

"Where is Zuggy?" A giant floating fish demanded as the parasite in its mouth clicked several times.

"I d-don't know!" the Seele08 backed away towards the door which suddenly slammed shut on its own.

"Kirsty you wouldn't be leaving us so soon would you?"

"Uhhh..my name isn't Kirsty, my name is Seele08."

"Your teasing us again aren't you Kirsty!" the Realdoll said smiling with its rubbery loli mouth.

"No more teasing Kirsty, we have such sights to show you!" the tall shrouded figure said as it approached her.

"You guys should pay attention when people talk to you! My name isn't Kirsty! I never saw you guys before in my life!"

"What was it last time? You didn't know what it was? You didn't open it?No more excuses, no more bargains Kirsty! We have eternity to know your flesh!"

"Wan! Wan!" the little puppies barked in agreement.

"My name isn't KIIIIRRRSSSSTYYYYYYYYYY" Seele08 screamed as she was dragged into the darkness by puppies and parasites.


Somewhere else


The three trolls were walking towards the local internet cafe.

"Hehehe...we should Troll the evageeks forums!"

"Yeah, they won't know its us because our IP's will be different!"

"MM, you are a genius!"

However before they could reach the forums a girl wearing a red sailor fuku stepped out into the moonlight.

"Evil villains who steal the brains of Emos! You who hearts can only taste the taste of...of....bad things..." she needed to work on her speeches "In the name of Star Dust I will punish you!" she said recovering from her moment of stage fright finishing strongly.

"Emo brains? What the hells she talking about?" CitizenGeek said looking very confused.

"Don't play dumb! I saw you eat our freinds brain!" Antigoth said pointing an accusing finger as she stepped out from behind Sailor Stardust.

"Oh shit its her again! knock her out with another fart MM!"

"Uuurghhh...indigestion....farts backing up...uurgghh...bad chili....dog..." Maggotmaster was looking green. This was not a good time for his farts to back up.

"So why are you going to punish us in the name of star dust? I mean where does space dust factor into this?" Executor began to protest, but SSD wasn't listening anymore as she twirld her sceptor around.

"SSDDDDSSSDDS!" she chanted as she pointed her sceptor at them. Hearts, bubbles and little tinkly bits of glitter flew out of the end of her sceptor.

"So uhh...what exactly is this stuff supposed to do?" Citzengeek said unimpressed as he reached out to touch a bubble. However without warning the bubble exploded with t h force of a stick of dynamite. This set off a chain reaction as the rest of the bubbles, hearts and glitter all detonated with tremendous force leaving the three trolls smoldering black on the ground.

"Birdy, I have fullfilled your blood vengeance..." SSD said standing over them with tears in her eyes. However this dramatic moment was ruined with a loud "BONK!"

Antigoth smacked the back with her head with a mallot causing her to fall to the ground. "Sorry SSD, but I lied to you." she could see Antigoth standing in front of her smiling beside a chocolate covered nightmare! Those trolls hadn't killed Birdy it was them! That was the last she thought before slipping into the darkness of sleep. Antigoth then picked up the puzzlebox as Zuggy bent down heaving SSD onto his back.

"She's not a goth. But I don't know whats in a magical girls brain. It might be something we could use."

"Yes, we just might! HAHAHAHA!" the two of them laughed evilly as they ran away leaving the three burnt trolls on the side walk.


Meanwhile


"So , we meet again! Oh mighty king of the forest!" BobBQ, the great hunter of the forest said as he had finnally cornered his prey. "I think it's time we finish this."

A man wearing sun glasses and a lion costume slowly turned around holding a box of matches. It was none other then Ornette, the king of the forest! But what happened to his forest? It was all charred wood!

"Uhhhh...What happened to your forest?"

"Ah...sorry I burnt it down last night when I got drunk." the man in the lion costume said matter of factly.

[TheAyanamiOtaku]

chocolate sylar = zuggy?! WOAAAA

i like it a lot, keep this madness up!

[Dartz]

Stop talking about chocolate. You're making me hungry.

[UrsusArctos]

You missed a B in BobBQ. Puppies and parasites make one hell of a combination, so I'm waiting to see what comes next.

[Defectron]

40 years ago...

A lone figure sat in the darkness with the Stella Octangula puzzle. This figure was a monkey, a monkey cosplaying as unit 01. He was an Eva Monkey!

As he twisted part of it something strange happened. One of the two cubes inside seemed to grow larger before shrinking. Then the second one did the same. The many pyramid shaped sides on its outer walls detached and then rearanged themselves into a new formation.


"Wan! Wan!" where had that barking come from?

Slowly one of the pyramidal structures opened. He lifted up the puzzle to peer inside but no sooner had he done so, something shot out! A single Puppy somehow shot out of the impossibly small opening sinking its tiny fangs into his nose. He let out a scream as the miniscule hell beast pulled him forewards, his body vanishing inside the puzzel.

In the darkness he screamed, he could feel the teeth of dozens of tiny puppies chewing through the flesh connecting his hands to his wrists. After the miniscule canine demons had removed his hands their tails all grew like snakes. The end of each forming into a tiny fanged mouth like a furry viper. Their tails lashed forewards hooking into his flesh. These canine demons would go on to become his new fingers! From now on he was not simply the eva monkey anymore! He was now the most feared Cenobite , infamous even in hell...Edward Puppy Fingers!

The present day...

At the Loli cemetery

"Our prey will be easier to find with a hundred eyes instead of eight." The floating fish said as its mouth opened releasing swarms of parasites.

Hundreds of Rhexanella verrucosa crawled through the underbrush, each stopping over a grave before digging into the soft soil.

At a nearby movie theater.

WildArms Heero was on a hot date with a Loli Maid pillow he'd met on a 2d complex dating site. Both of them were seeing a scary movie right now. WildArms secretly hoped that she would let him put his hand under her pillow case.

"So, you come here often?"

"Not really. I'm so busy with my day job I don't see many movies." the pillow responded.

on screen

Some guy who looked a lot like wildarms was talking to a pillow with a picture of Hazuki from moon phase on it.

"Hazuki....before we get married, there's something about me you have to know...I'm not like other people!"

"I already know that, your only interested in 2D people like me." she said misunderstanding what he was talking about in the background the clouds rolled back revealing a full moon.

"No....that's not what I meant...." On screen Wildarms began to growl, his body began to change! "Get away....RUN!" he growled out before completing his transformation.

"NYYAAAAAA! I'm a were bishounen yaoi catboy! And I eat PILLOWS NYAAAAAAAAAA!!" he now had two cute cat ears on top of his head along with razor sharp cute cat fangs and cute cat claws. He leapt onto the screaming Hazuki pillow and began to eat her, devouring even her feather stuffing.

Back in the movie theater.

"Uhhh...that guy on the screen looks an awful lot like you." Loli Maid pillow said looking a bit uncomfortable.

"a lot of guys look like me. I assure you its complete and utter coincidence!" WildArms said with a smile.

"I think I need to go now." Loli Maid pillow got up and began hopping out of the theater since pillows have no legs and can't walk properly.

"Come on! It's just a movie!" WildArms said chasing after her. He didn't catch up to her until they were both outside the theater. "You don't have to be scared!"

"I'm not scared!" Loli Maid pillow said looking cute and pouty.

"That's alright, I'll walk you home." WildArms said putting an arm around her as they left the theater they left they began passing through the mist covered area next to the graveyard of the lolis.

As they passed the graveyard neither noticed that something was forcing its way up from the ground. Small feminine rotting hands were shooting up from inside the graves. The lids of tombs were being pushed away. Something was coming....

Before they could even pass the graveyard they soon found themselves surrounded by hundreds of very short figures moving out of the fog. It was a horde of zombie lolis, hundreds of them! Their cute features rotting from who knows how long they spent in the earth. One of them was missing her lower jaw, inside a Rhexanella verrucosa parasite could be seen where her toung should be.

"Brains...."

"Pancreas...."

"Liver...."

"Small intestine..."

"Penis...."

"Pillow feathers...." the loli zombies all began uttering out the body parts they wanted to use to satisfy their unearthly ravenous appitite for flesh and possibly pillow stuffing. They climbed the walls of the graveyard moving intot he streets to block the path Wild Arms and Loli pillow were taking home. The circle of zombies slowly began shambling closer and closer around their prey. Loli Maid pillow was about to turn to WildArms to say something when she suddenly noticed her date had goten a lot shorter, cuter and deader with no explanation at all. He was also wearing a red Micheal Jackson style outfit!

Zombie shota loli Wildarms suddenly began to dance as techno music played in the background. The other lolis all followed suite mimicking his movements as they danced in synch with one another. All Loli Maid pillow could do was watch in horror as it seemed she would soon meet her end in the most 80's way possible! Before he could start singing some famous 80's pop song about zombies Loli Maid pillow quickly began to run away as fast as her non existent legs could carry her!

"After her! We need to make her listen to our song!" Zombie Midori shouted as she was now attached to shota zombie wild arms right hand for unknown reasons The zombies all began shambling after her.

Not too far away

Eric Blair was on the way tot he graveyard. Recently he'd had an anchovie pizza party. The anchovies tasted so bad all of his lolis died leaving him alone. Carrying a bouquet of loli colored roses he would leave one on each tomb stone of his lost loves. But he hadn't even gotten around the corner when the fleeing Loli maid pillow crashed into him knocking him over.

"What the hell! Watch where your going you idiot!" he shouted angry that his loli roses had now been scattered all over the ground.

"You've got to help me! Their all coming! Their going to eat me!" the pillow screamed with tears in her eyes.

"What? No ones going to eat you and....HOLY CRAP!" Eric shouted backing away as he saw the horde of zombies coming around the corner. "Follow me! Were getting out of here!" he said taking the pillows non existent hand and running.

The zombies chased them, but they were at a disadvantage since zombies, expecially loli zombies with short legs aren't fast moving. Where had they gone? They were certain that Eric and that tasty pillow were around here somewhere.

In a nearby dumpster

"They won't find us in here!" Eric said sweating in fear.

"I hope your right..." the pillow agreed.

"PSSST! Hey you two! I've got something to show you!"

"WAAAGHH..." Eric began to scream in surprise but the pillow covered his mouth. Someone else was in the dumpster with them.

Whoever it was lit a match for light revealing a mysterious man wearing a paper plate mask. "I've got something special to show you two." he said, he almost seemed to be laughing behind his mask. Who could this diabolical character be and what was he going to show them. He reached inside a bag pulling out a doujin called "EvaGeeks Yaoi" opening to a random page he showed Eric Blair its contents causing him to cringe in revulsion.

"Oh god! I never wanted to see Mr Tines like that!" Eric shouted trying to get away from the scary image! He'd completely forgotten about the zombies as he opened the lid to the dumpster. Completely surrounded all the loli zombies were waiting, standing right outside the dumpster looking at him hungrily. He glanced back inside. The diabolical mystery man who had blown his cover had vanished as if he had never been there in the first place.

"Oh crap...." Was all Eric got out before zombie Asuka leapt on him like a rabid dog!


Meanwhile

BobBQ fired repeatedly, from each hand Ornette extended three metal claws, each made of adamantium. Swinging with amazing speed he parried all the bullets.

"Looks like as usual were evenly matched." BobBQ said with a smile. "I would expect nothing less from the king of the forest."

"Hey...somethings coming behind you." Ornette said pointing over his shoulder.

"Come on, I'm not that gullib...ARRGGHHH!" zombie Rei Ayanami had just bitten into the wrist of his right hand. As he struggled she sunk her loli fangs ever deeper into his flesh. Reaching behind his back BobBQ whipped out a scorpion sub machine gun unloading multiple rounds into her face blasting her head off. Unfortuntely his hand had been ripped off in the process as well.

"Th...That bitch! look what she did to my hand!"

"You can worry about that later. We got other problems." about fifty more rotting Ayanamis had just emerged fromt he fog in front of them.

[majlund]

This is just the kind of insanity I need after a long day at work...

[Sailor Star Dust]

"She wants to know who we are?" the big fat dirty man said giggling. "I am Maggotmaster, The Troll of Filth, I live under the sly Sludge waste disposal factory."

"And I am Citizen Geek the Troll of short things. I live under the lego bridge in the local mini mart!" The leprachaun said smiling much too arrogantly for a midget.

"And I am Executor, the troll of star wars, for the past nine years I have lived under George Lucas's house telepthically feeding him my brilliant ideas!"

YES.

Before he could start singing some famous 80's pop song about zombie

Awesome.

"Oh god! I never wanted to see Mr Tines like that!"

"SSDDDDSSSDDS!" she chanted as she pointed her sceptor at them. Hearts, bubbles and little tinkly bits of glitter flew out of the end of her sceptor.

Awesome, but my nick change thing is SSDSSDSSDSSDSSDSSDSSD? hehe. (or something like that.)

"She's not a goth. But I don't know whats in a magical girls brain. It might be something we could use."

Damn straight I'm not. By the way, my brain personally consists of 20% WAFF, 20% A/Sness, and 60% depression/anxiety.